I Have.

I don’t even know how to put into words just how much my life has given me.  Is it possible for my life to be this perfect? Lying here next to my sisters, skype-ing my best friends, laughing… loving… In this moment I know everything I have in my life is a gift. I know where my life’s true treasures lie. These two beautiful sisters sleeping next to me, the brother on the plane, the love working the night shift at the call centre,  the parents trudging through yet another airport to give me the comforts, the opportunities I have in my life; all of this, for me. I can only imagine what my last life was like. I only hope I can do more good this life so I may be fortunate enough to have these amazing people with me, lifetime over lifetime.

Sometimes when I’m alone with my thoughts, I attempt the impossible task of understanding why these outstanding individuals are in my life- The ones who call and talk for hours, write long e-mails, others who call me 3 times a day with updates , chat me up ask me how its going and listen even when its mundane daily events.  I’m the lucky girl who has friends who are genuinely interested in my thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The ones who value my words, my touch, my laughter. The ones who tell me the truth straight up, when I’m being stubborn and refuse to accept it. The ones who comfort me when I’m being irrational, and laugh at me later. I only hope I can be half the friend to them that they are to me, because although I tried very hard to explain what they do for me, I’ve barely scratched the surface.

I have… to be lucky enough to even say these words out loud. Travelling has opened my eyes to the depth and importance of these two words.  To have something or someone to possess; to be jealous, loyal, trustworthy; to be protective, nurturing, worried; to be proud, respected and respectful. But most of all to care, love and adore.

We don’t realize what being “fortunate” means until we have a dose of what it means to be “unfortunate”. I’m even more fortunate to have the opportunity and to be ABLE to open my mind, challenge my conscience with these understandings.

Some days I take so much for granted. But as I live through each day, I’m beginning to recognize every little thing, and think clearly about what I HAVE.

I have this life, this health, these countries, this wealth, these opportunities, these material resources.

But most of all I have this WEALTH of relationships.

I have you Ma, Tha, Malla, Ravi, Jani.

I have you Eshan, Nadeeni, Nam, Sujan, Annie, Kenzie, Rachel, Cam

I have all of you- people from all over the world, amazing people I’ve met through other amazing people, family… friends (the word too small to encompass the huge hearts that reside within its definition.)

And I have you. I have you Bathiya. My best friend. My lover. My future. My Ishq- the most profound love that eliminates all other facts of life.

I know how blessed I am… and I will try every day, every moment to recognize the good and ignore the bad. And I WILL appreciate what this life means to me, so when that unexpected moment arrives when I have to turn my back on this life, I will know I have lived, loved and given to the fullest extent of my being.  Precisely as a life was meant to be lived.


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